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Gaslighting is a term that’s become more widely recognised in recent years, but many people are still unsure about what it truly means. It’s a form of psychological manipulation where one person seeks to make another doubt their perception, memory or reality.
This subtle and insidious tactic can leave victims feeling confused, anxious and unsure of themselves, often damaging their confidence and mental well-being.
In this article, we’ll explore what gaslighting is, how to recognise it and what steps you can take if you or someone you know is experiencing it. Lucy Hart, Director and Family Lawyer at Sinclair Law, offers her expert insights on this important issue.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1944 film Gaslight in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is losing her sanity by dimming the gas lights and denying any change when questioned. Today, gaslighting refers to similar behaviour in real-life relationships whether personal, professional or social, where the abuser attempts to control the victim by making them doubt their own experiences or feelings.
Common examples of gaslighting include:
Gaslighting isn’t always overt; it can be a slow, gradual process leaving victims unsure of when or if abuse is occurring. The long-term effect is often a deep sense of self-doubt and disempowerment.
Lucy Hart, Director and Family Lawyer at Sinclair Law, shares her perspective on this type of abuse:
“Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used to undermine a person’s confidence and sense of reality. It’s often subtle but can have devastating effects on mental health. Recognising gaslighting early is crucial because it allows individuals to seek help and rebuild their sense of self.”
Lucy Hart stresses that gaslighting can occur in various types of relationships not just romantic ones. “We see gaslighting in family dynamics, workplaces and even friendships. The core of this abuse is the need for control where the abuser seeks to dominate the victim by distorting their sense of reality,” she explains.
To help you understand how gaslighting may manifest in everyday life, here are a few illustrative examples:
In a Romantic Relationship
Emma notices that her partner, Tom, frequently dismisses her feelings. After expressing concerns about Tom’s behaviour, like him being distant or unkind, Tom responds, “You’re imagining things again, Emma. I’m fine and you’re just overthinking as usual.” Over time, Emma starts questioning her feelings, unsure whether Tom’s behaviour is problematic or if she’s simply being overly sensitive.
Within a Family Setting
David often argues with his sister, Sarah, over financial matters. After an argument, Sarah tells David that she never agreed to certain decisions he made. When David references past conversations, Sarah retorts, “You must be remembering wrong. I told you I’d handle it my way and you clearly forgot.” David begins to doubt his memory and feels guilty for raising the issue.
Workplace Gaslighting
In a work environment, Mark, a team manager, frequently criticises his employee, Rachel, for missed deadlines. When Rachel provides evidence that she submitted her work on time, Mark insists, “You never sent it. You’re trying to shift blame to me.” Over time, Rachel questions her professionalism and work ethic even when she is performing well.
Gaslighting can have severe effects on a person’s mental and emotional health including:
Lucy Hart notes, “The effects of gaslighting often extend beyond the immediate relationship. It can influence all areas of life including mental health and decision-making abilities. Early intervention is key to mitigating these effects.”
If you suspect you or someone you know may be experiencing gaslighting, look out for these signs:
Recognising gaslighting is the first step towards seeking support and ending the cycle of abuse.
If you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting or any form of domestic abuse, it’s crucial to take action. Here’s how you can get support:
At Sinclair Law we are committed to supporting individuals facing domestic abuse. Whether you need legal protection through a Non-Molestation Order, help with securing your home through an Occupation Order or simply need legal advice, we are here to assist you. Learn more about how we can help by visiting our Domestic Abuse page.
If you’re experiencing gaslighting or any form of abuse, remember that you are not alone. Recognising the signs and seeking support can be the first step towards regaining control of your life.
Contact Sinclair Law today for a free 30-minute initial consultation. Our team is here to listen, advise and support you through this difficult time. Call us on 01625 526 222 or book your free consultation here.
