Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and for some couples, it will represent a brand new stage in their relationship.
For children, introducing a new partner to your child following the breakdown of their parent’s relationship can be a giant step that ought to be carefully managed.
It is also something that could cause a co-parental relationship to deteriorate, if not approached correctly. Whilst there’s no right or wrong answer during this scenario, these are our 8 top tips for introducing a new partner to your family.
- It’s important to consider the relationship sensibly, is this a relationship that you can see being long-term? Ensure you are convinced of your own feelings before rushing to introduce this person to your child or children.
- Be open with your child, letting them know that socialising and meeting new people can be a positive thing. Remember, if your child has witnessed negative emotions in a prior relationship, they may feel apprehensive, worried and protective.
- Before the introduction, speak to your child about your new partner. Hear their views and feelings as best as you can. Reassure them that this new relationship does not affect your ability to meet their needs or your feelings towards them.
- If you have an amicable relationship with the other parent of your child or children, attempt to openly discuss the prospect of the introduction to a new partner. Explain how you came to the decision that now is the proper time and your plans to carefully manage the situation with the child’s feelings as the paramount concern.
- Arrange the meeting, fun activities such as bowling, the cinema and the zoo are popular ideas. Choose somewhere neutral to help the children feel relaxed.
- Discuss the first meeting together with your children and your new partner separately. Try to be patient and always listen to their point of view. If either party does not feel ready, try to not be pushy or forceful.
- Once a relationship is established between your child and your new partner, don’t forget to have quality time alone with your child. It is important that your child does not feel that they are being ‘pushed out’.
- If and when your partner starts to stay overnight at your home, ensure this is explained in an age-appropriate manner. For example, for young children, this can be explained as a ‘sleep-over’. For older children, make sure they feel comfortable and try to explain the progression of your new relationship and why this change is taking place.
- Attempt to monitor your child’s behaviour. Has there been any change in their behaviour or do they act up when your new partner is round? Try to not react angrily towards the child if this is the case, spend time with them alone and encourage them to explain their feelings to you.
- Most importantly – trust your own judgement. You know the individuals involved well and the details of your own situation, try to remember this if the situation becomes difficult and stressful.
Contact us for advice
If you would like any advice on introducing a new partner to your child, or any other family law issue, please contact us for a free 30-minute case review.
Article by: Amelia Fernley, Trainee Solicitor, Sinclair Law Solicitors
