Although it might seem too early to be discussing this matter, with the arrival of cold dark nights, it is becoming more apparent that Christmas is fast approaching and who is entitled to spend time with the children is one of the biggest issues facing separated parents at this time of year.
Participating in child court proceedings is difficult enough without the added stress of trying to agree who will get to see the children on which days over the festive period. Especially if relationships are already strained from the proceedings, this is a near impossible ask for most families.
The Law – Christmas child arrangements
There is currently no provision in law for the Christmas arrangements. It appears that the court is of the opinion that children should spend quality time with both parents over Christmas and it is highly recommended that parents try and reach the agreements themselves so that it is more practicable for their individual circumstances. Additionally, if your child is old enough, it is very important to include their opinions in the decision-making process in order to have their best interests at the centre of all discussions. The courts are only willing to intervene in the very last instance where all other options have been explored and still no agreement has been reached.
What are the options for Christmas child arrangements?
There are four main options which most families tend to adopt one of. First is the whole family spending the day together. However, this is only an option if the relationship has remained amicable between the separated parents. Next is the possibility of the child spending Christmas day with one parent and then Boxing day with the other. This way it is almost as though the child is having two Christmas days. A further option is to split Christmas day up, Christmas Eve and Christmas morning will be spent with one parent and then Christmas afternoon and Boxing Day will be spent with the other parent. The final option would be to alternate each year who gets Christmas day. For example, one parent will have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day one year and then the next year they will have New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day.
How do I reach an agreement for Christmas child arrangements with a difficult co-parent?
The best strategy is to approach the situation as far in advance of Christmas as possible as this will give you both enough time to negotiate. The later you leave it the more stressful it will become. To start, you should try to achieve open communication with the other parent and only make realistic suggestions to which you think the other will agree. It is favourable to try and think of the arrangements from the child’s perspective and think about what would cause the least amount of disruption to them.
Once you have a plan in place, the best thing to do is to put it in writing and send it to the other parent. Therefore, if there are any subsequent issues, these can be resolved in good time before Christmas, and this should help to avoid any misunderstandings during the festive season.
Existing Child Arrangements Orders
If you already have a Child Arrangements Order in place setting out the arrangements for your children, including Christmas, save for changes as noted above, this will remain in place.
If you have a Child Arrangements Order that does not specify arrangements for Christmas, and you cannot agree, Sinclair Law can assist with an application to vary the Child Arrangements Order so Christmas arrangements are defined and set out in an Order for the future.
Contact us for advice
If you would like any advice on who is entitled to have the children on Christmas day? Child arrangements during Christmas, or any other family law issues, please contact Sinclair Law Solicitors for a free 30-minute case review.